Entry: Ada Apa Dengan Perempuan? Tuesday, February 22, 2005



Yesterday, we had our unique conversation between guys with no girls around. The conversation went with some difficult & doubtly consequences answers with the questions such as...

"Kenapa bila a guy confess to a girl, then that girl cam nak larikan diri eventhough sebelum tu kawan rapat?"

"Kenapa perempuan taknak berterus terang kalau dia dalam situasi di mana seorang perempuan kasihankan lelaki tu? Terus terang je takleh ke? Supaya hati lelaki tu akan berasa lega walaupun sakit hati daripada menerima lelaki tu atas dasar belas kasihan."

Dan yg paling best punya soalan...

"Kenapa perempuan suka lelaki yang berterus terang tapi perempuan tu takleh nak berterus terang?"

or

"Perempuan tu suruh lelaki tu terus terang tapi lepas laki tu dah terus terang, perempuan tu larikan diri."

Camne nih?...

Hmmm...ntah la. If I like/love somebody, I might just tell her straight or I might take it slow to learn everything about her. What she likes, what she don't like. Depends on the situation la. I'm a person yang suka berterus terang. But usually I just confess to let her know that somebody likes her without any intention to get into a relationship within that period of time. Then, it depends on both sides on how do they work on it if they want to. Then, let her free. Let her think. Let her contemplating. In the mean time, just be her friend. Be a charming and caring person. Always smile. Treat her well. Relax & be cool. Do what she likes. Be there when she needed somebody. And if she comes back, she's yours whenever you and her are ready. And the most important thing is, just be yourself!.


### - Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind. (Terms & conditions apply)
### - Just finished a lyric that just suits my situation. ;)

   36 comments

dela
February 22, 2005   11:32 PM PST
 
auw....bagus la korang nyer topik.

setengah pompuan jek gitu kot.
tak semua.

pompuan tu lari pasal takot.
takot kang kalo go on with the relationship kang friendship cemana?
tak ke sayang kalo tetiba friendship tu bergoyang pasal pompuan tu dah rasa tak selesa nak berkawan ngan lelaki tu pasal dia tau lelaki tu suka kat dia.

lagi satu may be dia tak de hati ngan lelaki yg confess kat dia tu. dan kalo dia kata dia tak da hati ngan lelaki tu kang nanti lelaki tu frust kang. tros tanak kawan ngan dia dah kang :(....ee tanak cam tu.

hmmm. pendapat aku nih terpapentah .:P. tapi gitu la kot.:P
doBot
February 23, 2005   04:18 AM PST
 
Antara kesemua soalan yang kor bagik tu ND hanya ada satu jawapan jek, kerana perempuan tu pemalu. Disebabkan kemaluan itu lah, perempuan itu tidak dapat berterus terang.

Tapi perlu diingat, jika perempuan itu berterus terang. Jangan sangka perempuan itu dah tak ada kemaluan. Mereka tetap ada....walaupun sedikit sahaja.

*kemaluan=perasaan malu
petit
February 23, 2005   07:31 AM PST
 
ermmm...tak kisahlah ko pakai rentak cinta macam mana pon kerana permainannyer tetap sama :p
maman
February 23, 2005   08:17 AM PST
 
i too would like to know... ladies.. do answer these million dollar questions....
ND
February 23, 2005   09:10 AM PST
 
Malu is not a reasonable reason. For me, disebabkan malu...boleh menjatuhkan diri seseorang or boleh buat situasi tu jadi teruk...

so, nak malu ke or nak make things even worse?..u choose...
Muaz
February 23, 2005   09:13 AM PST
 
I agree with dela. Tak semua perempuan macam ni. Seriously depends kat perempuan tu. Ada yg okay, ada yg kurang okay. It's not a good idea to make those kind of 'generalization' terhadap kaum wanita. Also, partner yg korang dpt juga terpulang kepada macam mana korang jumpa perempuan tu.

As far as im concern, jenis perempuan yg korang jumpa pun adalah disebabkan korang gak.
You get what you are.
You guys understand this. If you don't, I'll elaborate it.

Then, why is that you've met so many wrong people before you meet the right one (marriage partner)? Why is that other people achieve their 'happiness' early and others later? Why? Are you ready? Why? Is this some kind of challenge? Why me? Is it just Allah just wanna test me? Why me?

You ask yourself those questions. How you answer it will affect your life in the future. But answer it with such a positive attitude that reflecting Allah's will. Never blame Allah for its cause. Always remember, there are worst situation than yours. Always be grateful for that.

The reasons you're here today is because of your past thoughts, experiences and decisions you've made in the past years.

Look through yourself, beneath yourself. For my friends, you get what you're worth. Simple as that. If you're not good enough, then work harder.

Obstacles, challenges, problems etc; they're all part of Life. You know that.
Embrace life with expecting the best of it. Enjoy it! And never forget to prepare for the other life.

Just my thought.
sueN
February 23, 2005   09:18 AM PST
 
dat's the problem. the conversation doesn't include girls. kalo ader, maybe most of us would say dat ur questions are not reasonable because gender has got nothing to do wif all those situations.

on my side, dulu biler akku confess kat someone tuh akku suke dia, dia trus lari. on my side, akku pernah diterime pasal mamat tuh kesian tgk akku tergedik2kan dia. on my side, bf akku skrg nih tak suker berterus terang dgn akku, which i really do not know wat is playing in his mind..

see, wat u guys haf been thru (i supposed, dat's why these sort of questions are brought up) has happen to me too... jz because u guys had experienced it doesn't make dat only girls are the one who does things dat u people can't understand..

dunia kite nih bukan dunia mesin yang hidup berdasarkan number binary yg hanye ader 0 and 1.. ingat tuh...
aleeya
February 23, 2005   09:19 AM PST
 
some girls, maybe nak berkawan2 je, not more than that. so bila lelaki dah confess ..erm.. dia tak nak.. sebb tu dia cam nak larikan diri. at the same time, dia tamau kehilangan lelaki tu.. ape da perempuan ni.. ntah apa2.. ntah..
hehhehehe...

neway.. for me, if i dont like a guy fren who confesses to me that he likes me.. i'd just ignore him..

ntah aku pun xtau la..
Muaz
February 23, 2005   09:20 AM PST
 
Oh yeah, sometimes the issue of insecurity always bother us. Even if we're engaged or married, that doesn't mean that it always end happy right? no? So, we all don't know what's gonna happen to our future.

Of all left, we just have to put our faith in ourself, in our partner, our relationship and most importantly in Allah.

I can't emphasize how much this is so important. The feeling of insecurity will be less when you truly believe in Allah cuz you know Allah know what's best for you. But you must really 'work hard' for that, to get what you deserve.

Believe me. For every single thing and event that happen around you is because of some reasons. You're much in control of your life when you well-define it in a positive way.

May Allah bless you! :)
ND
February 23, 2005   09:21 AM PST
 
hehe...I didn't say semua perempuan camtu...it's just a general thing to discuss...in fact, it's just a question to ponder and to understand better about women or girls.

But when we think back again, why do these questions exist? It's becoz of the situation that normally happen!

But still, tak semua girls camtu...but hopefully..malu tu biarlah bertempat...
Muaz
February 23, 2005   09:22 AM PST
 
Ooopss, i maybe teroff topic skit. Hehehe. Whatever. But the basic thing is the same.

It all depends on how you've the girls and who you are.

Hehehe.

risya
February 23, 2005   10:13 AM PST
 
relationship ni actually terlalu luas la.. so subjective. let say la kan, kalau dia jauhkan diri.. doesnt means dia tak suka kan kita.. OR kalau kita ajak orang tu keluar, dia ckp sibuk.. terus set in mind - oo that person tu actually tak suka kita. oo come on.. tak semestinya. semua tu learn frm experience. jatuh bangun, kena tipu everything tu semua pengalaman. we hav to learn how to HANDLE any situation. barula relationship tu seri mewangi!

me agree with muaz.. "It all depends on how you've the girls and who you are. you get what you're worth! "
zhoulsz
February 23, 2005   10:23 AM PST
 
aku ada pikir gak pasal nih. agak agak pompuan takut nak berkawan lepas lelaki tu berterus terang mungkinkah kerana dia ingat lelaki tu akan berubah lepas penjelasan tuh? cth, kalau lelaki tu jenis happy-go-lucky dan kepala gila-gila, so pompuan tu suka berkawan ngan dia, but then lepas berterus terang [katakan pompuan tu terima dia], maka lelaki tadi akan jadi jiwang, slow, romantik or whatever. so mungkinkah itu yang nak dihindari sebenarnya?

-ingin tahu- (ewwah, macam forum kat paper lak! ahaks.)
Hajime
February 23, 2005   10:28 AM PST
 
Let it flow....
intan
February 23, 2005   10:51 AM PST
 
good topic....

ok sebenarnya topik nie cam kena batang hidung sendiri la.... actually saya nie jenis yang macam tue... dah banyak kali la buat camtue... sekarang nie saya bercakap tentang apa yang saya rasa n kenapa nak buat camtue....

bagi saya, bila lelaki tue confess.... bukan saya tak leh terima... kekadang saya dah kata yang saya hanya anggap dia sebagai kawan dan saya mintak untuk teruskan berkawan dulu.... tapi bila seseorang lelaki tue jenis yang tak paham bahasa... tetap nak paksa... in that kes, saya akan jauhkan diri... means sampai dia terasa la yang saya tak suka ngan cara dia... bagi saya perasaan tak leh nak paksa... so, bagi kaum lelaki, kalau dah suka ngan sorang girl tue, makesure anda tak desak dia untuk terima anda... cinta kan tak leh nak dipaksa.... and bagi saya kalau dah cakap suka kat pompuan tue, biar la pompuan tue buat keputusan sendiri... just go on with the relstionship like usual, means cam kawan jer... cuma tunjukkan yang anda benar-benar maksudkan dengan pengucapan anda... so, saya yakin kalau cam tue gayanya... pompuan tue akan terima....

pastue.... kenapa girl tak suka berterus terang... bagi diri saya pun... saya tak suka berterus terang... sebabnya, saya takut kalau saya ditolak... tak ker malu jadinya.... lagipun, sejak azali pompuan nie dah dipenuhi ngan perasaan malu... bagi saya, walaupun zaman berubah, tapi bagi saya jangan sampai hidung tak mancung, pipi pulak yang tersorong-sorong... i'm sory kalau ader pihak yang tak setuju ngan pendapat nie... nie just what i'm feeling.... mungkin bagi girl lain, lain plak pendapatnya....

lastly... saya setuju ngan pendapat nd... bila dah suka buat la apa yang girl tue suka untuk memenangi hati dia.... insyaallah... kalau dah jodoh tak kemana... tapi kalau dah ditakdirkan bukan untuk dia, means carilah yang lain... banyak lagi pompuan kat dunia nie...

kalo rasa tak setuju.... just mail me... ok...
ND
February 23, 2005   11:12 AM PST
 
Intan...nice story...

that's why i said...if i like somebody, i just wanna confess to let her know...and biarkan dia...tak paksa2 dia...just berkawan and do things that she likes. Cinta takleh dipaksa tapi cinta boleh grow through friends...

Maksud saya yg about berterus terang tu ialah berterus terang dlm relationship...bukannya berterus terang utk pompuan confess kat lelaki...that one understood la...
walkthrulife
February 23, 2005   11:29 AM PST
 
it's kinda hard for some girls tu berterus-terang on their feelings towards a guy...

i prefer guys to berterus terang and take it from there whether to remain as friends or take a step further.

Then again..bila caught in between 2 guys, quite difficult juga.
dela
February 23, 2005   11:53 AM PST
 
if you really wanna know the girl will react camana kalau ko nak confess kan.
ko tanye dia. cam ko buat contoh la.
cam 'ey aku ade kawan ni. dia masalah sikit. kalau ko kawan ngan si 'a' nih pas tu tetiba si 'a' tu suka kat ko. ko buat camana aa?'
mungkin dia explain.

ko jgn cakap ko.
tapi the girl might think that the contoh is you.
also the girl might blur2 tak perasan dan explain lalalalala cam tuh.

suggestion je.
ko jgn lak ikot kalo tanak. ghehehe.
it worked for my friend.
but depends on you la.
the courage comes within you.
emma
February 23, 2005   03:43 PM PST
 
meh aku bagi tip..

dapat dari literature class session sebelum ni..

if you want to win a girl's heart,
woo her.. then after quite some time of doing the chasing, leave her aside.. when the time comes, she will capitulate herself to u..

as simple as that..!

;p

byk lagi tips lain yang aku dapat dari kelas literature ni.. sumenye berguna.. huhu~ tak caya tanye nuar..

joliekins
February 23, 2005   03:44 PM PST
 
Kenapa bila a guy confess to a girl, then that girl cam nak larikan diri eventhough sebelum tu kawan rapat?
The girl should just confess back how she feels even tho its a positive or negative feedback. Kalau yang lari tu mesti kes she's interested in someone else instead of the guy yang confess tu.. hehe

eh nak jawab soklan yagn lain tapi tetiba ada keje lak dah ni.. hampeh.
GbuM
February 23, 2005   04:10 PM PST
 
pompuan mmg saje gitu... suka susahkan benda yg senang...
lemanpattaya
February 23, 2005   04:13 PM PST
 
aku setuju dgn Muaz.. it's more certain! yg lelain tu hanyalah teori2 yg subjektif dr segi hasilnya.. hehe..
apai
February 23, 2005   05:44 PM PST
 
err... aku celah sikit??
better confess dari tak ckp langsung.. at least kuaukan dari sistem badan.. sbb kalau tak.. sampai bebila dok tanya diri sendiri.. what if this?? what if that?? tambah2 kalau minah tu tetiba ngan balak lain.. sapa yang malu?? mereka dan keluarga mereka!! kwang kwang kwang!!

kalau confess.. ompuan tuh lari.. anggaplah it is not meant to be.. but 7/10.. ompuan tu akan dtg balik.. dia lari sbb dia malu as in suka sebenonye.. dan bagi can kat dia to think about everything..

KEYWORD : PATIENCE!! jumping into a relationship too hasty.. akan buat ia cepat boring!! trust me!! paling tak best kalau dah declare and then lepas tu terasa keboringan nyee!! kalau tak boring.. ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

bottom line... ckp jek.. jgn simpan2!! tak salah kalau kita ckp.. saya suka awak - ni tak semestinya jadik gelpren terus..??

but actually.. there's a thin line between telling the truth and keeping it.. consequences amat tidak diketahui.. sbb tu aku tak pernah mengorat!! muahahah!!
Dell
February 23, 2005   06:52 PM PST
 
sorryla... baca je selama ni, tgk ramai gile dah respon!! hmm... post ni mcm sequence drpd entry i je, hehe... maybe kebetulan je tu!

i agree with sueN nye komen, actually this situations happened to both sides, laki n pompuan, tp org laki selalunya x yah pk berat2 sgt pasal mende alah ni!

i think i takyah explain lgla psl mende ni, sbb ada byk jawapan tertera di atas... up 2 u nak accept yg mana...

life goes on... insyaAllah...
apai
February 23, 2005   08:05 PM PST
 
ye lee dell kan.. up to ND lee kan nak accept ke tak kan?? apa lee susah2 sgt nak pikirkan dell kan kan kan??!!

eh?? dell ada blog kee?? pc.blogspot.com ek??

-sekati aku jek-
ND
February 23, 2005   09:58 PM PST
 
udah la tu apai...hampeh!..haahaha...
patience?..i'm being patient all this while...

dell, sequel from your entry ke?...eheh...maybe kebetulan la tu kot...anyway, it's good if u can comment more...different ppl different thoughts...;)
Dell
February 23, 2005   09:59 PM PST
 
a ah la abg apai!
lupa nak inform, mehla jgk blog saya yg x seberapa tu:

cahayadalila.blogspot.com
banai
February 24, 2005   12:51 AM PST
 
ehehehhe... arjuna mencari cinta! ko kene tgk citer la brassierre.. alaaa citer bra tuh..

dlm citer tuh ada ckp.. pompuan nih terlalu ringkas.. dan itu le yg buat dorg nih mcm komplikatik!

heh! apa kaum wanita nih ingat kita takde kejer lain ke dok jaga ati depa je.. :)

*aku dah larik topik ke? :)
ND
February 24, 2005   08:48 AM PST
 
Aku di sini bukan untuk mengutuk wanita...aku just tertanya-tanya je dan ingin sangat hendak mendapat komen daripada pihak wanita supaya aku sebagai lelaki lebih memahami hati seorang wanita.

Whatever it is pun, tak semua perempuan camtu...same goes with guys...tak semua guys camtu..huhu
Hajime
February 24, 2005   11:05 AM PST
 
whoaaa... best betul aku dapat banyak tips kat sini.... bertambah ilmu aku... emma... tak der ilmu lagi ke... curah le kat sini....

fewwiiittt.... minachi... you manyak cun la.... kasi saya punya hati suda jatuh.... jadi you punya kekasih bole ka? :D

- berterus terang tak aku nih -
ND
February 24, 2005   12:07 PM PST
 
hahaha EG..hampeh je...tu skema sgt la..kekeke..tu cam ayat memain..takleh tuuu..
gtb
February 24, 2005   03:22 PM PST
 
my comment...dari pengalaman sendiri ;P

1) perempuan biasanya avoid sebab tak nak lebih jauh cross the line. antara kawan baik dan kekasih, kadang cuma ada batas yang nipis (kes yang sedang dihadapi skang...kuikuiikuii-wish me luck)

2) saya tak buat macam tu...kalau tak suka say so...jgn buat orang tertunggu. tapi dari pengalaman org lain, ada 2 alasan:
i- tak sampai hati
ii- amik kesempatan atas kebaikan laki tu. abg long saya pernah kata: "hanya lelaki yang sedang jatuh cinta saja sanggup buat apa saja utk his love :) "

3) terus terang dengan org laki yang suka dengan dia...pernah sekali dan kena reject :) awal memang sedih, tapi whatever la. lagi menyesal kalau tak pernah confess. kang terbawak-bawak seumur hidup,lagi la payah.tak banyak yang berani sebab:
i- bunga tak cari kumbang
ii- perigi tak cari timba
dari kecik pompuan dah diajar macam tu. dan "dunia" pun agree. tak banyak yang berani melanggar peraturan tak tertulis ni :)

4) soalan hampir sama ngan no 1...
ap
February 25, 2005   01:04 AM PST
 
hermphhh.. the topic looks familiar to me.. hahaha.. nway, dell.. macam pernah dengar je comment tu.. tapi di mana yaa ?? ;p .. still looking fer the answer.. tapi base on the comment above.. rase nye leh dpt some conclusion.. (me take notes) hahaha..
zurie
February 25, 2005   08:30 AM PST
 
hangat!!!!
Hajime
February 25, 2005   11:05 AM PST
 
Actually aku dah banyak kali kene, so the guys, nih nasihat aku.

Lepas je korang meluahkan isi hati korang, jangan la korang desak-desak si dia. Rimas dia dibuatnye. Ada baiknya kalau berikannya masa. Sepanjang masa si dia tgh membuat keputusan, kita teruskan berkawan seperti biasa. Kalau rasa nak ubah cara berkawan sebelum confess ngan selepas confess aku cadangkan korang jangan la berubah banyak sangat. Sket-sket je dah le....

Kalau ada respon baaiiikk... punya... that's your rezeki la.... kalau tak der... mungkin di masa lain, mungkin juga korang better carik lain..... hehehe....

ramai lagi kat luar sana, kenapa mesti dia walaupun korang dah tau terang-terang die tak mau.... itu je konsep aku...

kalau Allah kata, itu bukan jodoh kita, there must be someone yang lebih baik dari dia. kita tak tau die baik dari segi yang macam mana, tapi nanti korang sedar jugak....

ahaha... macam bagus jer aku nih... err... ND... dah keluar topik ke aku nih?
ND
February 25, 2005   11:17 AM PST
 
waahhh EG..cayalah..tak sangka ko pun jiwang gak ye...wakakakaka...

Betul la ape yg ko ckp...jangan desak2...nanti dia ramas...ehh..rimas...eheh...kalau ade rezeki..ade la tu...semuanya terpulang pada cara anda!

Thanks EG

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